Good but not good enough?

We’ve just put an offer in and I didn’t get this job... my stress levels are teetering... I’m trying to take the day in small chunks, but the chunks are flying at me all at once...

The couple who own the house want to wait to see if they have any more viewings before accepting our offer which is fair enough but I’ve never been good at waiting. In fact I’m terrible at waiting and want to shout at someone. Perhaps this is because I didn’t get the job – who knows. I was actually told that I was a great candidate (they loved my personality!) and did really well, but they employed someone with a particularly type of marketing skills – and it’s true it’s an area that I am less strong in. But, and this is a bit weird, they asked me to please keep applying to them as I would be a real asset to the organisation with the skills and knowledge I have and they had already told colleagues about me and how good I was! They basically said please come and work for us, but just not in this role. I’m not sure what to make of that...

It’s true that I do want this other job that I’ve gone for far more than I wanted this one but rejection is beginning to piss me off. When you see how many stupid people have jobs you do have to wonder what kind of idiot you are to not be able to get one.

It was Pluto’s 4th birthday yesterday and I sang happy birthday to him when we got home, which he seemed to like. He also loved the toys we got him; a squeaky duck and a rubber ring and there are bits of both toys all over the flat this morning.

I may not get out of bed today. Lazy yes, but it just feels safer, for me, and a world that I want to shout at. Maybe the next interview I get I will be really crap at, that way when they turn me down, they won’t say, you were a fantastic candidate, but...