Glamour

It may surprise you to know that my life isn’t all glamour. Which explains why at 7.17 this morning in the half-light, dressed only in shorts, a t-shirt and a pair of workmen’s boots I was cleaning out the chickens with bar-b-q tongs and getting soaked to the skin in a soft English drizzle...

Those of us with animals – actually, those of us with animals and who take out pastoral duties very seriously – have long ago realised that you do a job when it needs doing, regardless of how convenient it might be to you. So when I slipped out to feed the girls and collect the eggs, I realised that they needed cleaning out again. And fret not, if you ever come to a ‘q at mine, I will not be using the chicken cleaning tongs! But they are great for getting the muck out.

What I lack for in glamour, I make up for as an animal lover in satisfaction! Well, that’s what I tell myself anyway.

Yesterday was bugger all to do with glamour as well. It was all about housework and wedding photos. Honestly if there is a job that takes longer than you can ever think possible, it’s wedding photos. It took all of last Saturday to select and upload the photos, I got them printed during the week and yesterday I sorted them and started to put them in albums. On Friday night I framed three of our favourites and hung them in the hallway (including a large panoramic shot of everyone on the beach – it looks incredible). I filled two albums and now need to order several more (we also have some photos that other people took and our holiday photos). By the end of the day I was almost blind... on the plus side though we have fantastic photos of a fantastic occasion that will last forever! The other nice thing is we have one ‘main’ wedding album which contains 72 of the nicest pics at 7”x5”. When people ask to see wedding photos, they don’t often want to see several hundred! (I love looking at photos, but I think it pays to be a little self-aware and realise that your photos will never be as important or as interesting to other people as they are to you!)

We were supposed to be in Yorkshire this weekend to see our best woman and goddaughter. But my partner is still unwell and we had to cancel the trip. My partner was hoping to go back to work tomorrow but it’s not going to happen. The slightest activity exhausts her. My only advice is if anyone else feels they are coming down with flu, get yourself to bed immediately. She never gets ill and is very fit but it has completely wiped her out. I’ve never seen her so unwell.

I’ve got Match of the Day on in the background, I don’t know why, I don’t really like football but it occurred to me that someday someone’s going to get hurt with some of the silly goal celebrations they do, jumping and grabbing and laying all over each other. You don’t see that in rugby – although to be fair if 20 stone men start jumping on each other someone will get hurt – but if I was a football manager I would ban the more extravagant celebrations. Some of these players are worth millions (although I personally wouldn’t give you tuppence for most of them) and getting injured during a match, or even during training is part and parcel of the game, but to get injured because your team mate has just flung you to the ground and jumped all over you is taking the piss. I’ve just seen one celebration in which I was convinced the scorer would need a neck brace at the end of it...

Right now I have to decide on another cup of coffee of to go back to bed for more sleep. I think if I’m worrying about the antics of players I don’t care about in a game I’m not interested in, I might need more sleep. Good night.