Chickens and burgers - but not chicken burgers

I saw a dirty van yesterday on which someone had written with their finger “this van was cleaned by the NHS”. I thought it was a lot more original than ‘clean me’ and ‘I wish my wife were as dirty as this van’.

On Monday we met our two new family members; chicken one and chicken two. It really was a series of strange coincidences: we have been thinking about getting chickens for ages, a friend (who lives in the same road as us) saw some random Facebook status update I did about chickens, his housemate has two ex-battery hens that need new homes and well, you can figure out the rest! We popped round Monday evening to see Artha and Martha (we had to call them something) and they are quite lovely in a chickeny sort of way. My partner sent off our cheque the very next day to order our brand new hen house and run and it should arrive within two weeks after which we can go and pick up the girls! They were in a terrible state before arriving at our neighbour’s but he has looked after them so well they are re-growing feathers, putting on weight and seem calm and contented. I’m very excited about the whole thing.

My partner and I had the day off on Tuesday for an appointment and afterwards we went for lunch at the Gourmet Burger Kitchen in Dulwich. It was great! I had a pesterello (burger with pesto and mozzarella) only because I saw it and started singing ‘spinderella cut it up one time…’ (This caused my beloved to gently shake her head and laugh at me - not with me, at me!)

She had the mushroom burger and each one was about the size of our heads and was absolutely delicious. I also had an Oreo milkshake which was fantastic and more of a desert than a drink. The staff were nice too. Can’t tell you what it’s like on a busy evening but our experience was very good.

I received a pointless email yesterday that really annoyed me. Someone who was potentially going to represent me/give advice with reference to the film script I’ve sold has turned out to be not very helpful at all and it makes me despair of an industry that is so confusing, unhelpful and unwelcoming to new writers. She actually wrote the email a while ago but I only got it this morning and it was just a waste of time: a few bits of advice that any writer worth their salt already knows and that was it. So I still have no representation and no real legal support but I am apparently a good enough writer to sell a script. Go figure…

Anyway, final thing from me – driving home yesterday, there was this guy in a Ford Focus that was driving quite carelessly but I slowed down and kept my distance and didn’t think much more of it. Until he wound down his window and chucked a load of litter out! I honked my horn and as I passed him (he was turning right I was carrying straight on) he yelled at me and I yelled back that he was a bloody idiot for chucking litter. So he decided to follow me. Instead of turning right, he shot after me and tailed me for just over a mile, presumably so I would be scared and intimidated. I could rant on about this, but just answer me this, when did it make you more of a man to drive badly, chuck litter and then try and intimidate a woman? If you think that makes you a real man, that would make you an even bigger fuckwit mongrel than he was…

Do nothing

When my boss agreed to me home-working I'm not sure she ever imagined me working in bed eating a jammy dodger with the heating on. But such is the simple beauty of laptops and wireless broadband. But in my defence (do I need one, really?) I am doing a lot of work. I'm just a damn sight more comfortable than if I was in the office. (Just had a coconut biscuit, didn't enjoy it as much... )

We have decided we need a 'doing nothing' holiday. And so that's exactly what we are going to do. We're going to hire a caravan out of season in Cornwall in January, for two weeks, with the dog, and do nothing except crosswords, walking on deserted beaches, cooking, some exploring (not much, we wouldn't want to tire ourselves out), reading the books that Santa brought us and sleeping. There may be wine and real ale involved I couldn't possibly say... but we're tired. We're always on the go. Even our glorious holiday in Scotland (surely one of the most beautiful places on earth? Discuss.) was pretty full on, moving hither and thither (I love that expression). And no, in answer to that unspoken question, we are not going to house hunt. Yes, of course, if a brilliant but unlooked for opportunity arose and we were in 'hood, we would view somewhere, but we don't want to do, we just want to be.

This weekend I have to work on Saturday - they so rarely ask me, that I genuinely don't mind doing a bit extra and in the evening we have a friend's 40 birthday to celebrate. Talking of celebrating birthdays, Paris is just around the corner (Dec 3) my mum's 60th birthday present. I'm so excited and really looking forward to leaving from St. Pancreas. It'll be like the old movies, when stations were grand, imposing structures; gateways to adventure... not like now when they are grim and dirty; cold edifaces of practicality and frustration.

Anyway, I'd better crack on, if I do everything I'm supposed to, I might be able to have an afternoon nap!

(PS. Looks like the production company will be moving on the script early in the new year... how exciting!)

I appear to be ready for my close up...

One week before we hit the open road… I can’t believe it’s come around so quickly! We meant to start packing this weekend, but never got round to it, so I’m now hoping to do a little each night (I can’t rely on doing it all the night before because I’m at college). We’re dropping Mr Pluto off with friends on Friday night and heading off early Saturday morning. It’s very exciting! The car is going to be packed to the gunnels with luggage, camping gear and camera equipment. I can’t imagine what it must be like to go away on a trip like this without a car, but some people do…

I spoke to T the producer on Sunday. His production company want to produce my film script! Part of me is as giddy as a kipper, but part of me is still cautious… He has advised me to seek legal advice and Slightly has volunteered to call an agent friend of his today to ask her what I should do and who I should speak to. But as he pointed out, I could get an agent on the strength of this because I am not going to them saying, ‘hello, you don’t know me… in fact no one knows me… but can you get me some work anyway?!’ I’m saying, ‘someone has offered to buy my script, can you represent me?’ A totally different kettle of fish I’m sure you’ll agree.

So there you have it, in the space of 2 months I’ve been offered a photography commission and I’ve sold the option on a script… anyone would think I’m clever… maybe I am!?

It’s a crazy old game this film malarkey though. Anything can happen and it’s like an assault course just to get to the point where the film goes into production, let alone gets finished and then distributed. So keep everything crossed for me, but I won’t be putting the deposit down on a small holding just yet! :0)

(This is my 201st posting!)