Penalty

There are some days when the goddess taketh and well, frankly, she taketh again! I have a penalty notice. I consider myself a safe, courteous driver but I got a £100 fine for stopping in a box junction. I actually deliberately pulled around a car and put myself in the box junction to avoid becoming an obstruction because I was pulling out and turning left, albeit very slowly, when the traffic literally just stopped. (This was going up to Battersea Bridge, anyone that takes that route at rush hour; you know what I’m talking about.) This car squeezed in next to me and I became aware that we were both stopping the traffic flowing. So I pulled around and tucked in a little more so at least people could cross the junction. From now on though they can all fuck off! This considered and deliberate act of safety and consideration has left me £100 worse off.

You know those driving groups that always whinge about having to pay anything to drive (why can’t we drive our 19 litre cars for free and park wherever the hell we like?), well they always made me cringe a little… like that smoking group (it’s really fascist of this government to try and prevent non smokers getting lung cancer just because I like blowing my Marlboro shites in your face). They always seem to somehow miss the point. Well here’s what I think: I use the road and that’s what my road tax pays for; petrol, well it ‘aint ever going to be free! But it’s also a pollutant, so I have to pay for the cleanest fuel possible and take responsibility for how much I use; congestion charge, there’s no point having a car if it doesn’t move and that’s what it did in London traffic for many years – it didn’t move! Radical problems require radical solutions. I don’t have a problem with any of that. What I do have a big problem with (hence me sounding like a representative from a ‘driving’ group), is extortionate parking fees and now fining me for trying to be a good but maybe a little naïve, driver.

Listen up Big Brother, fuck off and use those cameras if you must, to stop people doing 40 in a residential street with kids playing, use them to zoom in on the 40% of drivers who don’t have road tax (and who are statistically more likely to not have insurance and an MOT), use them to stop car thieves but DON’T target me and other careful drivers for small misdemeanours that were made with good intentions…

I can’t tell you how much better I feel.

Today is the day of the stag do’. I’m tres excited. In fact I need a wee I’m that excited! So on that note, I need to do some final prep to make myself even more gorgeous… !