Baden-Powell vs. Kath and Kim

Commercial vehicles I’ve seen that have made me smile:

Bright pink lorry with ‘Caroline’s Effluent Service’ written down the side
The previously mentioned scaffolding company bearing the legend “Always a satisfying erection”
And finally, “White Van Gentleman; delivering with distinction”

Well done to all our winners. Caroline’s lorry in particular made me think of Kath and Kim –

Kim: I want to be effluent, mum, effluent!
Kath: You are effluent, Kim!

I’ve eaten my lunch again but a whole hour later than yesterday so I’m feeling quite pleased with myself. I suppose the answer would be not to make fresh homemade bread every couple of days and I might not be so tempted.

Slept well last night – making up for a lousy night’s sleep on Sunday and then my 5am start yesterday. I think I slept solidly for over 9 hours and feel much better for it.

My shoe-stretcher arrived today and my boot tidy should arrive tomorrow. Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to be excited or even pleased, they are small, fairly boring items not designed to set people alight with passion or enthusiasm.

I have two pairs of trainers that are centimentres too small – literally. So I thought I could throw them away (one pair is virtually brand new) or I could invest in a shoe stretcher and try and resolve the situation! (Being as I am, the kind of girl of whom Baden-Powell would approve.)

The boot tidy which so obsessed me all weekend is to tackle the growing amount of stuff in the boot, that threatens to spill out and take over the rest of the car. I like to be prepared (see previous Baden-Powell observation) but there’s no excuse for a messy boot.

The arrival of these two objects may be small and other people might question why I would even think them blog-worthy, but I believe they enable me to have some control in a world largely gone mad…

I've eaten all my lunch...

It’s 10:07am and I’ve eaten my lunch. Well, except for my yoghurt. I feel I’ve been on the go for hours, which seeing how early I got up, is true. Anyway, what am I going to do at midday, eat my dinner? It’s madness.

I thought my having a proper breakfast we would avoid all this unpleasantness. But no, despite eating mini weetabix with honey and nuts (nice, but like bullets – soak them overnight and you should be fine) and a thick slab of bread and cherry jam I still gave in and scarfed my sandwich at indecent speed.

Clearly someone needs to work on her self-control…

Probably the best holiday destination in the world...

I’ve noticed I’m getting a lot of international readers so hello to you. I do realise you haven’t actively sought my insightful commentary and topical humour, you’ve just sort of tripped over me like a bag left lying in the middle of a very long corridor, but welcome anyway. Please do come back because you make me look popular.

I’m off to a literary festival in Cornwall in July which is very exciting – I am toying with the idea of just happening to have several copies of several books on me at all times. But I think the whole thing will be very lovely and quite gentle. For those of us whose mosh pit days are well and truly behind us, it’s a far more appropriate way of enjoying the festival experience. And of course, Scotland is just around the corner. Made all the more exciting by the fact that we’re talked about possibly moving there…

I’m also hoping to take my partner to the Isles of Scilly at the end of the year for our anniversary so we are well and truly flying the flag for the UK this year. It’s great! And again for the benefit of our international friends, the UK is very beautiful and you must all visit. I’ll even meet you off the plane*.

It’s only 11:12 and already I’m desperate to eat my lunch. Hanging out till midday is going to require every ounce of self-control I have. Maybe if I did some more work it would take my mind off food… 11:16… just 44 minutes to go…

* I probably won’t. Sorry.