Crime fighting!

It’s often the small and sometimes obscure clues that once revealed, lead the detective or forensic specialist into solving a baffling crime…

And in our case, it was my partner’s bedside lamp being on. I heard suspicious noises in the bedroom and having just changed the bed linen and knowing that my beloved Pluto loves fresh bedding, I jumped up to confront the little rascal, just as he sauntered past me looking innocent. I went into the bedroom and wondered how my partner’s bedside lamp had turned itself on? Our lamps don’t have switches; you touch the base to turn them on. My startling conclusion was that someone had been in the room and had ‘accidently’ turned the lamp on. But had a crime been committed?

So in homage to some of the world’s finest literary detectives, I lit a pipe and decided to investigate further…

There were distinct doggy style foot impressions on the duvet. I surmised then that the little git had indeed been on the bed, but why turn on the lamp? Since when did he need a well lit room to commit mischief? So I checked her bedside table and sure enough found evidence of a heinous crime… her ear plugs were missing!

Pluto had pushed open the door, jumped on the bed, searched her bedside table, found and ate her earplugs, accidently turned on the lamp with his nose, and then quietly left the scene of the crime. But he hadn’t factored in my extraordinary detective skills.

Of course the bigger mystery is why the hell Pluto likes to eat earplugs in the first place? Apparently it’s very common in dogs. But it's just plain weird if you ask me…

Update on Pluto and the vet

Just a quick update because I’m up to my nipples in fishermen and dog psychology – don’t ask – but I realise I left my last entry on a cliffhanger. Pluto went to the vet and he’s absolutely fine! In fact he’s lost 3.5kg (which is a good thing because as a chunky breed – or breeds – he needs his weight lept in check).

Dogs do sometimes lose nails, it can be a little sore but as a rule, if the area is dry and free of blood and yuck, if the dog isn’t limping and he or she seems in fine spirits, you keep a close eye but let nature takes its course. But of course, that fine and sensible advice goes right out of the window when it’s your own beloved pooch...

Pluto loves going to the vet and they seem to love seeing him. I guess if you get animals that are pissed off and anxious about being there day in day out, being treated like a long lost family member cheers you up. So P bounded in full of the joys and I lifted his heavy old ass onto the treatment table. He didn’t like his paw being examined particularly but was very good and definitely earned the treats the vet gave him. Yes the nail is broken, but really, it’s nothing to worry about. To justify the £17 for 4 minutes of the vet’s time, he also weighed Pluto and that’s when we discovered he’s lost some puppy fat. So all in all, a good visit: I didn’t need a small unsecured loan to pay for it and Pluto is absolutely fine.

We did nothing yesterday, we’re both a bit under the weather (my partner more so) and tired and so we slept and mooched. I did a bit of ironing and polished the shoes I’m wearing for my interview and finished off the photos I did for my photo shoot on Thursday evening (which went really well). And then we cooked a nice meal and watched Run Fat Boy, Run in the evening, which was hysterically funny! Today I’m working on my presentation and doing a bit of dog psychology homework, but I’m hoping my partner will be making pancakes shortly to keep me creatively fuelled!

Mad Max

I’m training a hyper-active Westie called Max and today we had a breakthrough that left his owner open mouthed – although it did involve me gently pinning him to the ground and him squealing with indignation! In case it isn’t obvious, I didn’t hurt him. He has one main problem – dominance, and whilst this normally manifests itself in excitement and disobedience, he’s not above biting when he can’t get his own way.

We went to the park, Max, his owner, Pluto and me. I wanted Pluto to do in dog terms what we were starting to do in human terms, dominate Max and make him a pack follower not a pack leader and it worked a charm! Pluto was brilliant and Max thought he was fantastic. He was totally submissive and followed Mr P all over the park. We then went back to the owner’s house and Max started to get more and more excited until he started biting – hence the wrestling move of pining him to the carpet. After which everything changed, he let himself be groomed (he won’t usually allow it), enjoyed a game of fetch and then went into the dog cage that he’s never used before and fell asleep. When I left he gave me a kiss... He was totally exhausted by the end of it all, not just physically but mentally as well. We have a lot still to do, but today he did really well and I was very pleased.

I’ve also had to fit in a doctor’s appointment, interviewing a new cleaner, grocery shopping and work... unfortunately I still have work to do so guess what I’ll be doing this evening!? But if you cram lots into your day that’s what happens...

I’m looking forward to the weekend though tomorrow it's a day out with the missus and the dog and on Sunday, lunch with a friend. I love weekends!

Back of the sofa

Pluto has discovered the back of the sofa. He likes looking out of the window on his kingdom. Previously, he was happy to hang over the back, then he realised with some delicate manouvering (bearing in mind he is a relatively large and heavy dog) he could sit and even lay across the top of the sofa. This means he is even closer to the radiator and he gets to watch the world go by in comfort. All any of us could ask for really.

Unfortunately it means when he breaks wind, he's that much closer to our heads...

Digestion digest

When I look at Pluto’s poo – as in when I pick up after him, not when I don a white coat and put it under a microscope – I can tell what his favourite toy is that week and often, where my missing ear plugs have gone. Today was no exception; his waste had bits of bright green, luminous yellow and orange in it. It looked like a rave turd. But despite what our furry little soldier eats (and expels) he is in rude health. If I ate what he did, I think I might end up in hospital...

Right now he’s taking a short nap after eating a rawhide lollipop.

I’m considering having a nap but unlike our dog, I have chores to do... being a grown up is far more demanding than being a pet...

Scary storm

Yesterday after all our adventures, we were home watching Wind in the Willows, the only light coming from a small table lamp and the flicker of the fire. It was really cosy and when the storm started I was in heaven. I love storms! Proper thunder, lightning, rain and in this case hail as well. It made being inside even more delicious. Unfortunately Mr Pluto is less of a fan of thunder than I am – in fact loud, scary noises generally don’t appeal. He weathered (some pun intended) the storm quite well considering, but was bothered and restless afterwards until he realised exactly what he needed to do to make himself feel better. He climbed on to the sofa, onto our laps and fell asleep. The place that our 27kg, Rottweiler x feels the most safe is on his mummys laps. We watched the rest of Wind in the Willows with no further interruptions...

(He's less adorable this morning after deciding that our new blue and white rug would look so much better with muddy paw prints all over it...)

What to do, what to do?!

Another big project on the horizon… I had a good but very technical website meeting this morning. The technical bits made my head hurt but we made a lot of progress. And I actually felt good about work for the first time in a while, so I was put in something of a spin to get an email asking me to attend a job interview! It would be a step up, slightly more money and is a very interesting prospect. There’s so much to consider that I’ve decided to consider none of it and just take one step at a time. After all an interview is not a job offer.

We had a friend over for dinner last night. We haven’t seen her in an age so it was wonderful to catch up over beer and good food – courtesy of the missus, although I will point out I chopped the onions, tomatoes and cauliflower. Our friend bought us honey vodka from New Zealand (she can come again) which I’m very excited about. Apparently it’s award-winning and there is a passion fruit and a kiwi variety too. Good enough to eat, well, drink…

What made us puff up with pride was she noticed how much calmer Pluto was, and how much more ‘in control’ he seemed to be. We are working hard on this aspect of his behaviour and to have it noticed made us feel good. Especially as I can’t exactly go into people’s homes offering to help them and their dogs if my own is a lunatic!

I realised last night that next weekend is Easter bank holiday so we have the Friday and Monday off, plus I get what is called a recess day (a local government thing I think. Because we are unable to receive financial bonuses we are given extra annual leave). I’m not sure what we’ll do; we went camping in the New Forest last year and had an absolutely fantastic time. We briefly flirted with the idea of going camping again but have decided to stick closer to home. Maybe a combination of day trips, lazy days and chocolate!?

Stormy weather

Whilst some people may be counting the cost of yesterday’s storms (and some parts of the country are still being battered by storms) it’s fair to say dogs aren’t among them. Twice on my way to work I saw very excited dogs pounce on the fallen bounty from trees in the park.

A Labrador tried to drag half a tree back home with him but only managed about 20 yards before deciding that he may as well lay down and try and chew it down to a more manageable size. And then further up the road I saw the same thing again – a slightly less ambitious size but with the same affect on the pooch that decided it was put there just for him. Pluto enjoyed all the new smells in the park this morning, thrown up by strong winds and rain, and he was fairly distracted for most of his walk even when joined by his best friend who herself was distracted by the treats in my pocket…

I think I may have my first Dog Wise client. I’m not sure if I should be alarmed that he’s known as Evil Charlie by the family he owns, but I plan to chalk it up to experience! From the list of problems he’s presenting, there’s nothing there that I think I can’t handle. But if you see me with bandages on my hands then you know I was wrong!

A bump in the road

Well, things went slightly down hill for me after my last rather cheerful post. We had to call an ambulance in the evening when my breathing deteriorated, the infection got much worse and my temperature shot up. After three nebulisers, oxygen, a chest x-ray and starting me on a massive dose of steroids and two courses of antibiotics, they let us go home again, for which I was pathetically grateful as I have a fear of hospitals. I’m now on a new exciting drug regime of 28 tablets a day, and as has been pointed out by a friend, I will, if shook, rattle. Although please don’t try.

I don’t have much of an appetite although I have at least managed a couple of spoons of rice and some veg in the last two days. I’m suffering bad nausea from the steroids and still coughing as if it was going out of fashion. It has been a bit of a rough time. But my partner is being a fabulous nurse and bought me Jam and Jerusalem (the first series) on DVD, and Hot Fuzz, which we really enjoyed when we went to see it at the cinema, and two beautiful bunches of daffodils. I’m downloading anything and everything on BBC iplayer – we don’t have a TV in the bedroom – because I don’t have the energy to read and until the night before last I had only been getting 3 – 4 hours of sleep a night. Which left a lot of time to fill! But on Saturday night, I turned some kind of corner, because although I woke up a lot through the night I slept well. I then fell back asleep around 7am and woke at midday and then slept again in afternoon!

The dog is a bit nonplussed. Dogs are very sensitive to illness, not just because of the patient’s mood or inactivity but because of changes in smell due to the chemical changes in the body. Pluto however, had kept his support practical, not for him pining away at my bedside. Instead, he tries to lick my face when he thinks I need it and brings toys to me (to save me getting out of bed!). He makes me laugh by gruffling at me for minutes at a time, he pulls tissues from the box and instead of handing them to me, eats them. And perhaps sweetest of all, he wanders in and watches me intently to make sure I really am OK before leaving again and coming back in later to do the same thing again. A combination of my partner and his boarding mum has meant he has at least continued to get plenty of exercise and fresh air, because let’s face, invalids are boring...

Anyway, I need to get ready for the first onslaught of chemicals and then I want to download Lark Rise to Candleford. Really, s’all go!

Welcome home

Morning all, and a very cold morning it is too. We caught up with a friend walking his dog this morning and so we walked round the park together – our dogs don’t really like each other all that much, but we humans get on famously. There was frost on the grass making it look like it had snowed and our breath looked like little chubby clouds.

Today I’m working as a domestic. Our inspection – as previously mentioned – is on Monday and our office and reception look a mess. So today I’m flicking round a duster, recycling everything that can be, and going to Homobase to buy house plants. I’m quite looking forward to it. I get so bored sitting at a desk.

My partner is back today; she’s only been gone two days but it’s been weird. The dog has been looking for her. He laid his head on the bed this morning and stared at where she would normally be and then gave a big sigh! I’ve bought her a lovely present. I can’t tell you what it is because there is a small chance she might read the blog today although she doesn’t as a rule. But it’s fab and it’s practical so you can’t say fairer than that. Of course, she may not like it in but if you buy presents, you must be bold and have a thick skin! (And not take it badly if people don’t like something.) I guarantee that they will love that you tried and when you do get it right you are a present superhero. How would that work? Instead of spidey web stuff shooting out of you wrist, it would be sellotape, instead of seeing through walls, you could look at a present and instantly know how much paper you would need and presumably you would have a sixth sense about what people really, really want… interesting…

The house looks nice, I did the laundry, the washing up and arranged my flowers (the ones sent to me by my bank!) – they filled 3 vases but look and smell divine. So all is well. The family will be reunited and we all have clean underwear. Even the dog. Nice.

I’ve decided on the basis of a 30 second televisual advertisement that I’m buying the new Alan Carr DVD. Still working on that materialistic streak… honest…

This is what a feminist looks like

We're not really dog dressing up people. Sparkly collars, 'amusing' costumes, novelty t-shirts make us cringe. So why we decided to put a feminist campaign t-shirt on Pluto is anybody's guess. Anyway, he took to it quite well - tried to chew the sleeve a couple of times but otherwise put up with our childishness with bemused patience. The t's can be bought from the Fawcett Society and read, 'this is what a feminist looks like'.

Yesterday was Halloween and I lit candles in the garden, hung up a Happy Halloween sign, put a broomstick and inflatable ghost by the door and waited for the bell to ring. Pluto was particularly effective at giving the impression, with his deep excited bark, that he was indeed the Hound of the Baskervilles (although a little shorter than the original who appearead in the 1939 classic with Basil Rathbone).

We only had about 8 vistors. All of them hideous, twisted ghouls, witches and monsters, and one in a tracksuit that clearly felt that throwing on an old sheet was too much effort. By 7.30pm everyone was back home making themselves sick on cheap orange candy and we opened a bottle of wine.

I wish I'd given them more sweets now, I've got a novelty pumpkin head bucket half-full of lollies and marshmallows.

Looking forward to my lie-in tomorrow. Especially as we've got to get up at 4am on Saturday to go to Cornwall. I'm guessing it'll be another Sunday in bed...

Shopping on the clock

I’ve just been shopping in work time. Which is nice. As the editor of a magazine, I sometimes have to buy competition prizes. Today it was a digital camera and a dance CD. (I went to HMV again, dealt with someone who was at least 33 – good age that – and he too was very charming). I also managed to ‘accidentally’ pick up two cut-price DVDs and some croissants*.

Last night I went home full of vim and vigour and although I was grumpy and tired by the time I actually got there because traffic was so bad again, I decided to seize the day – well actually, I seized a small hammer and some laundry, and I spent the first two hours being very useful. I put up a picture, did the washing up, did some aforementioned laundry, filed some papers, made some bread and had a general tidy up. After that I really was tired. But we had a nice meal and watched the new series of Doc Martin – one of my favourite programmes.

Today is the first of Pluto’s extra walks. I’m sure he’ll be very pleased when J turns up and he realises that he’s going for a long romp with about five other dogs of various sizes and levels of excitability.

I have lots of writing to do today for the magazine, which being a writer, I understandably enjoy. Except I have a lot to do in a short space of time. So on that note…

*They don't sell croissants in HMV. If they did, I'd never leave the place.

Sleep

Another week, another… well, week’s worth of work presumably. My commute wasn’t too bad this morning; I was in by 9:20 which ‘aint bad.

I’m feeling fairly sprightly, for a Monday anyway. Yesterday once we got back from the dog show I napped for several hours and then we were in bed again by 8:30!! My partner is still unwell and I was just exhausted. So basically I’ve topped up sleep wise and am running on a fairly full tank!

I’m still a little peeved that Pluto was unplaced at the dog show. I mean I don’t want to sound like a pushy mother, but he clearly was the best dog on the day… anyway, he had a go on the hurdles and on water retrieval and got to meet a lot of other dogs also in an advanced state of excitement and generally had a fantastic time. He was also exhausted and at one point all three of us were sound asleep yesterday afternoon.

We’ve had some movement on the script and hopefully we should be moving into stage two shortly, I still don’t have an agent but have taken legal advice and an agent that did take the time to get back to me and give me guidance is interested if I get more work optioned… I believe that’s known as me doing all the work… but they never said this writing lark was going to be easy…

Thwarted!

Unbelievably Pluto did not win dandiest dog! Clearly the judges had very poor eyesight because he looked absolutely gorgeous and behaved really well all day. (His rosette is for taking part!)

When the banks rob us...

I’m two croissants and a hot cross bun to the good and am on my second cup of coffee so really I have all the fuel I need for a full morning’s work. I also feel quite chipper because tomorrow is my home work day and it means I can have a lay in and work in my PJs.

Here’s a question for you (and I really do want to know the answer, it’s not rhetorical!) why when banks are being sued or at least challenged over bank charges and having to pay out large sums – my friend got £3500 and made a film! – do they continue to charge exorbitant fees? I have chosen to not have an overdraft facility and to be fair nine times out of ten I don’t need one. However, yesterday was that one time out of ten. In the gap between money going out and money coming in, I was just short (43p in case you’re interested) of covering a DD, so they have charged me £19.50. I fully intend to challenge my bank over this and other charges, as many others have before me, so why are they just storing up trouble by not acting to reduce fees to reflect the actual costs?

Answers on a paying in slip…

Tonight we’re off to Slightly’s for dinner. Pluto, who has a lot of love to give and is on a mission to make sure everyone gets their fare share, thought Slightly’s other half was quite lovely the first time they met so that should be a joyous reunion… for Pluto at least!

We’re doing dessert. I think when people say that, it means they will have cooked something, I however, will be going to a well known supermarket to buy something gorgeous and yummy.

Anyway, I have things to do and the coffee is starting to wear off…

Onion bagels

I had a great night’s sleep last night. Well, I was so exhausted it wasn’t surprising. I was in bed by 8, read a bit more Harry Potter, asleep by 9. Pluto made us laugh by also being completed knackered, he actually put himself to bed! That’s what happens when you become fixated on what you can’t have and wear yourself out running up and down stairs and whining! Because we’ve made the decision to not go away without him unless there is absolutely no alternative – and we do seem to go away a lot – our next trip to Brighton will be just for the day or if we need to stay, for the sake of the sanity of our best man’s cats, we may have to stay elsewhere… shame really because he has a lovely house and the bed is very comfortable!

Not sure how I’m going to make it to lunchtime, I’ve made a gorgeous lunch (onion bagels, cheese and organic ham) and am now trying to resist the urge to start on it two hours early… no willpower that’s my trouble. I had a decent breakfast as well (three weetabix with dried fruit in case you’re interested… probably not…)

Busy week ahead: we need to get the invites off to the printers, we’re having friends over for dinner on Tuesday and then we’re going for dinner with some other friends at the end of the week. I’d also like to see Harry Potter this Wednesday – I can’t believe I haven’t seen it yet! I also need to fit in a reflexology appointment... s’all go…

Least I’m not starting the week tired. But I may have another coffee just to keep the momentum going…

Captain Chaos

It was chaos...

We went down to stay with our best man in Brighton this weekend, and although he has cats we figured the animals would all settle down and if they didn't like each other, stay out of each other's way. Unfortunately it didn't quite work like that! In the end, they all had to be kept apart - Pluto wanted to play, Abby wanted a punch up, Oscar wanted a valium and the other cat, Tim I think, just wanted to be left alone and didn't know what all the fuss was about! Pluto was desperate to get to know these strange creatures and became fixated on trying to be wherever they were... I think it's fair to say, everyone is pretty exhausted. Especially as he slept with us and kept us up all night whining because we wouldn't let him sleep with them (he hasn't quite figured out that the cats hate him. He just thinks there's just been a terrible misunderstanding and if he was allowed to jump on them and chase them, it would all get sorted...)

The neighbours in the posh square where our friend lives must have wondered what the hell was going on next door: Pluto barking, the cats meowing and us shouting at the various animls to pack it in...

Despite this, we had a great time. The house is lovely and we got very drunk last night - which meant we all suffered terribly this morning.

We had a lovely walk along the beach, popped in to see the grandparents again and then made our way home. No problems with traffic thankfully and after a quick pizza I am going to fall into bed.

Pay day!

I’m a bad girl. I’ve just ordered two tops from American Eagle… pay day anyone?! I have just paid all my bills so I felt I needed a little sugar.

I need to take the hound out for his morning constitutional because he’s looking at me like he’s been abused… oh sure you feed me premium dog food, you love me and spend time playing and stroking me, you walk me twice a day and you think it’s funny when I do sideway’s rolls (don’t ask, but it’s like a crocodile doing a death roll) and I have access to a lovely garden but you haven’t walked me his morning and frankly lady, that’s what counts… I’m such a bad mother…

I’m a little ashamed of our window boxes. There, I said it. Tomorrow we’re off to Homobase to get new boxes and some flowers and plants. Our pansies have wilted and the lemon conifers look like they’ve been through a very rough detox. In short, our boxes are not up to our usual high standard. And as I sit here typing away I think it’s time to bring them into the back garden where they can be revived and supported through plant group therapy…

Anyway, I’m supposed to be doing some work not documenting the chaos in my personal life. Although I suppose if all that’s wrong is the dog hasn’t been walked and the lemon conifers need a water, I’m doing OK…

:0)

Is it tomorrow yet?!

Lot’s of last minute things to do… Mr. Pluto had a vet’s appointment for his annual MOT and booster vaccinations this morning, I needed to draw out my holiday money, I definitely needed to buy a jam doughnut from Gregg’s the bakers, the car needed to be washed and some last minute laundry needed well, laundering. I am happy to say they’ve all been done. I’ve also managed to buy myself a fabulous new bag for work from Storm. (What can I say, I multi task.)

In between all this I’ve been working (yes, really) and have achieved quite a lot. Not as much as if I didn’t have all the distractions previously listed but enough. I also worked really hard yesterday to sort everything out.

I won’t be able to blog much when I’m away – if at all, so bear with me. I’ll try and do a couple of lines in Glasgow and Edinburgh (toward the end of the trip) but I doubt there will be much in between!

See you soon!