Ham and chocolate sandwich - want trifle with that?

Well I haven't blogged for a couple of days, have you missed me?! I thought you could have too much of a good thing...
It's early Saturday morning and no, I don't know why I'm not still in bed either. The dog is gruffling at me, with the occassional bark thrown in, he believes that I should be walking him, not stuck in front on my computer. He may have a point. Went out with a friend after work last night. Headed home quite early because I couldn't get a dog sitter, but was still a bit tiddly. So much so, that I went into Marks and Spencers and for some reason bought sandwich ham, chocolate biscuits and a small strawberry trifle. The dog was delighted to see me and even more delighted when I took him on a long walk to make up for being late.
He's broken a fence panel. More expense. He leaned on it when he was excited and it crumbled. To be fair it was the fence panel we tried to fix so that it wouldn't fall apart if someone sneezed in the vicinity. So next week sometime it's off to B&Q again, maybe I will get a store card...
If you're not from these fair isles, you may not know that England (I'm not sure about Wales, Scotland and N. Ireland - please excuse my ignorance) has the day off on Monday. Another bank holiday - hurrah! I'm glad most of them are Monday's because Monday's can be bloody hard work.
Today is rugby, tomorrow I'm seeing my mum and Monday I'm cleaning. It's not exciting but it keeps me out of trouble. Enjoy the sunshine...

Sporting chance

I was on the BBC sports website this morning and there was an amazing picture of kids playing with a football in Uganda. Sports equipment is very rare in rural Africa and it got me thinking. I texted my partner and told her if she came across any young rugby teams, to get their details and I will organise for a load of equipment to be sent out. Hopefully on behalf of the rugby team I represent, but if they aren’t interested, I’ll go down to Decathlon and get stuff myself. All it would take is a couple of donations from our stock (although to be fair, towards the end of the season, stocks are low) and maybe going round with a tin on a match day to get a bit of spare change. £20 could buy you four rugby balls, for example, and could help make a real difference. So although she wouldn’t have been on the lookout for sports teams necessarily, I hope she finds the details of a young team who could do with a few bits and bobs. Not that I should be encouraging youngsters from another country to get good enough to beat England!
So that’s what’s got a bee in my bonnet this morning. I find sport, and the power it has to transform lives, very exciting. And if you pardon the pun, it should be a level playing field – why should one country or even club, have all the equipment it needs, and another struggle? Sport should be about sharing resources and learning from each other. Whoops almost slipped off my soapbox then…
Almost ran into – literally – bad dog this morning. Him and his fucktard – told you that word would make a few more appearances – owner came out of a side street and the dogs were feet from each other. I grabbed Pluto (who was slightly bemused at the fuss) and luckily the pit bull was still on his lead. Close up you realise how powerful built that dog is. He definitely has more muscle and weight on his side. Although the clumps of paint still in Pluto’s fur, must add a couple of pounds?! Anyway, disaster averted we headed home. It is an absolutely gorgeous day and I wish I wasn't working because I would definitely take the dog out for the afternoon and get some sun on my face and miles on my trainers.
Instead, however, I’m stuck in my office fiddling with my new phone! It’s very tactile and I keep find excuses to play with it, I’m afraid it might make me go blind.
This week has been a little easier work-wise as I have just finished several large projects. So I’ve spent the last couple of days catching up on admin, filing and doing the little fernickity jobs that never seem that important until you leave them for so long they become a priority. But my heart is definitely walking the dog in some forest or park somewhere…
There is exactly a week and a half to go before my beloved returns and I can’t wait. The house will look lovely, the dog will be groomed and I shall be waiting at the airport with open arms. But until then I have to get some work done!

Mummy says...

My mum always said that when children have boundaries, they feel safe. So from now on, Pluto's bedtime will always be at least half an hour before mine, so that he can settle down but still hear me moving around the house and feel safe. Also, I will sit with him until I can leave the kitchen without him lifting his head off his blanket! So fingers crossed he will start to relax and ease off the barking - unless we're being broken into of course. In which case he can bark, whistle, growl and yodel as long he lets the burglar know he or she isn't welcome, and us know we have unwanted company!
My new phone arrived today; like most people I get a free upgrade every year. This would be incredibly wasteful (and probably still is to be fair) were it not for the fact I always recycle my old phones with a charity that gets a fiver each time. It's all shiny and new and exciting! I'm such a child...
My shoulder still hurts but is starting to ease. I should be in bed right now, resting. However, blogging (as you will have discovered if you've read any of my entries) has become a daily habit. I have tried to keep a (paper) diary before now - not sure why because I'm not that interesting - but have never made it past day three before thinking, stuff this for a game of bingo. Anyway, thanks to technology I get to share the intimacies of my life with people I don't know... and some people I do! (And if you're reading this honey, I had vegetables tonight!)
And on that note, I need to go to bed: to sleep, perchance to dream...

Minty fresh breath

A work colleague asked me why I like walking the dog so much, and why did I enjoy it as much in bad weather, as I do in good weather. I suspect that if I didn’t walk the monster twice a day, I would be doing very little exercise generally, which is pretty scary and I love seeing him rushing about; sniffing everything and getting so excited at seeing his friends – human and canine alike. It makes my heart swell that he looks so happy. And as for why I like all weather equally, I just do. I always have. This morning there was mist and drizzle but the dog enjoyed himself and so did I. I think there is romance in all weather; bad weather is cosy, sunny weather is liberating. I’m not sure that is a very good answer. But unless I have spent ages on my hair (unlikely, to be fair) rain, hail, sleet, snow are all as welcome as hot sun and cool breezes. So there you go! I’m not sure why I chose to share that with you, but that’s blogs for you, highly unpredictable…
The hall light being on didn’t work last night and three times I had to go into the kitchen and remonstrate with Pluto. But what can you say, when as soon as he hears you he shoots back to his blanket, lays down and then looks up at you with big eyes and a slightly pained expression that I take to mean, I was protecting you mum, don’t shout!
I didn’t stay up with him all night Friday, but I will extend the time I sit with him in the evening as he settles down now.
I managed to do the three jobs that were most pressing this weekend; including cleaning the bathroom (not that I had much choice after the dog's ablutions). Consequently the house is looking really nice and I’m one of those people that the more sorted / organised / tidy things are, the more I want to do! It inspires me.
I’m off to NY at the end of May but am a little concerned I still have so much to do like; insurance, renewing my passport and sorting out boarding kennels! I’m sure it will all come together but at the moment it seems like one thing after another, and all of those things cost! I was cleaning my teeth this morning – no excuse for sloppy dental hygiene no matter how worried you are – and wished I could open my own dog kennels! Obviously this is not a total bolt from the blue, but I was a wee bit surprised – I have never wanted to run a boarding kennel before. I had a list of things I would do as long as your arm and got quite excited at one stage but then remembered that I had no money. I do wish someone would buy some of my writing, not only am I a great writer, but I desperately need the cash… Lousy sales pitch I know, but I’m an artist not an agent! (You wouldn't have guessed from that rather dramatic statement, lol.)
I keep hearing about these bloggers who get book deals and I wonder, when is it my turn!? Incidentally, I've written three books already, countless film and TV scripts and am a published journalist... Just in case you were interested, and I fully understand if you couldn't give a monkey's armpit...
Anyway back to my other dream, if anyone reading this would like to finance me to run the best kennels ever, I am more than happy to submit a business plan :0)

Today, it’s all about me baby…

Painted warrior

I finished the hallway! With a bad shoulder it was definitely more painful that it needed to be, and the Hoover attachments are now a lovely shade of cream... there were some areas that were too high up to reach by hand and couldn't be reached by a ladder either, so I rigged up a cunning device using the Hoover attachments, masking tape and a paintbrush.
Pluto decided to help and covered his entire left side with paint by leaning on a wet wall! He still has cream bits that I haven't been able to wash or cut out. At one stage he looked like a Celtic warrior, painted up and ready for battle... well, ready to finally catch the neighbours cat if he could...
As a result of all this, he had to have his first ever bath last night. He wasn't too bad - he was very frightened, bless his heart. He got lots of wet cuddles and praise and he liked me massaging the shampoo into his coat. But the bathroom needs a damn good clean now and I was wetter than the dog at the end. (He tried to get out a couple of times!) But this morning, as I was pottering around, he came in and out of the bathroom so there seem to be no lasting problems or fears. He was a very good boy and I was very proud of him.
I feel quietly pleased at everything I've achieved but to be honest, I'm in too much pain to get over excited. It was probably because of the gammy shoulder (and the painkillers!), but at one stage I did feel a little sorry for myself: why is this all being left to me, why should I be doing all the work etc., etc. Tired and over-emotional I guess, so I let myself wallow for a bit and then regained my equilibrium and carried on content to get the things done that I'd desperately wanted to do for ages.
Incidentally, I left the hall light on last night, and Pluto didn't bark once!

Getting the cold shoulder

My shoulder was bad this morning (so much for that bloody orthopaedic pillow!) but I've just made it much worse. I missed my footing coming back into the kitchen and grabbed the door with my left hand, wrenching my shoulder. I'm in a lot of pain! So far I've still managed all the washing up and to mop the kitchen floor, but I'm going to have to be careful what else I do. I will finish decorating the hallway - that's not a job to me anymore, that's a mission! Hot water bottles, muscle cream and strong painkillers will be the pattern of my weekend. Oh well, I have a couple of DVD's I wanted to watch anyway...
I think I know why Pluto has been barking. I don't think he likes the dark. He was a little bugger last night and in desperation I went back to bed and left the hall light on. There wasn't a peep out of him. We should have low energy bulbs everywhere anyway, but I don't at the moment (shame on me!), but if I'm to leave the light on all night, that will have to be a priority now. I'm also afraid of the dark and I do have a night light in the kitchen for him, but if he needs more light to feel secure, I happen to know exactly where he's coming from!
He needs his walk now so I need to get sorted. I'm going to try and do as much this morning as possible and then rest in the afternoon. Shame the garden isn't finished and we don't have a sun lounger - it's absolutely glorious weather!
PS. My partner has read the blog and knows exactly what's been going on in the garden, we spoke for ages last night! She seems delighted with the progress :0)

Groundforce

I have clean drains! It’s so exciting… dyno-stud came back with a friend because the job was a little labour intensive. The tenants before me had, shall we say, different standards to the missus and I. Not only did they leave the place filthy but they only ever cooked it seemed, using fat and grease. Anyway, the last trace of them was forcefully rodded into oblivion yesterday and to celebrate, on the way back from the farm, my neighbour and I stopped at B&Q to get some garden stuff. We worked late into the evening, removing all the ivy (Jesus, that stuff is rampant!), cleaning and sweeping down the concrete (lot’s of hot water and elbow grease) and then we edged the concrete area with wooden posts and laid down 375 litres of red chip bark! It looks great and far less gloomy than it did before. And I’m beginning to see it as an area that has far more potential than previously either of us thought. To save space in the garden, I think I might put the bar-b-q there, and we will definitely be able to fit in a small grow house, as well as the fragrant flowers we both wanted. This means in the main area of the garden, there will be more space for grass and plants! We also patched up the fence yesterday so it’s less likely to collapse if someone stands near it and sneezes. It’s not great, but it’ll do.
I was stood in the dark, in the bedroom last night looking out onto the newly laid bark. The flowers my partner bought me before she went away, and which I’ve kept in the bedroom, were heavy with scent, and it was a lovely mild evening so the window was wide open and for the first time I could picture the garden coming together slowly: rather than seeing it as a collection of jobs. I think my partner will be pleased. I’m not telling her how much we’ve done and from the sounds of it, she hasn’t got time to check my blog – and there are much fewer facilities where she is to do so anyway!
We visited the boarding kennels in the afternoon. We got lost a couple of times but eventually made it. It’s a proper farm with a variety of animals; horses, swans, ducks and of course lot’s of dogs! Overall I was happy with it although they only get one walk a day and Pluto does love his walks. Apparently though they get lots of other exercise and attention. I’m going to check a few more including a lady that home boards. I’m never going to be truly satisfied or happy. But as long as he is safe, comfortable, well fed and someone makes a fuss of him then it will have to do. It’s only for a week! There was a dog in there that is staying till September because his owner has gone travelling…
I think if he has an old t-shirt of mine, his blanket, his Kangy Woo and some chew toys it will help remind him that he has a loving home and that he is coming back to it very soon.
I’m feeling positive and full of action at the moment so am looking forward to decorating this weekend. And today also marks the first full week of my partner’s absence so that means only two weeks to go!

Dyno-stud

The man from Dyno-Rod is here and I think he was a little surprised by my effusive welcome. I did explain this overflowing malarkey had been going on since before Christmas and he nodded wisely. He seems a lovely man. In fact a couple of boys I know would think he was exceptionally lovely – good looking and chunky! Anyway, he could look like Eartha Kitt for all I care. What this means is we can now scrub that area down by the side of the house, cut all the ivy away and start filling it with pots of fragrant flowers. Gorgeous.
I’ve managed to fit in a quick haircut. Don’t tell my mother but its short again. Like it has been since I was 19. What can I say, it’s a mother, daughter, lesbian thing; the slight flaring of the nostrils and an arched eyebrow that says, I totally support you being gay, I’m actually proud of you being the woman you are, but do you really have to have such short hair?!
Pluto was barking again last night and I’m at my wits end. I’m going to email the dog trainer who gave us lessons, and also, I may stay up all night with him on Friday to see what the trigger is to these barking fits. It may sound extreme especially as it’s not all night, maybe two episodes lasting a couple of minutes. But if he is anxious about something I want to deal with that, and I also really like our neighbours and don’t want to piss them off!
I’m missing my partner. It’s the silly things really. Things you want to share. As I’ve mentioned previously I have a bad left shoulder and I thought maybe ordering an expensive orthopaedic pillow might help. It arrived yesterday and I wanted to tell her. But imagine texting someone in Rwanda to tell them you bought an orthopaedic pillow. It’s just odd. And yesterday at work, some funny things happened, not stand-up funny, but amusing: things you think that you’d like to share because it appeals to your partner’s sense of humour. But again, calling someone the other side of the world at £7,000 a minute to say, Angela told me today to take my banana hands of her box (long story) is a little strange. So I'm missing that really. Although I will tell her about the drains.
This weekend, I plan to finish decorating the hallway. That will mean in week one of her absence I have sorted out the drains, the decorating and the bathroom cabinet – and my MP3 player, of course!
Dyno-Rod stud has gone to fill his van with water but he’s been gone a while. I’m starting to panic… you do think he’ll come back, don’t you??

Animal farm

I saw a Big Tit today (actually, I think they’re called Great Tits but that just sounds like a come on…). The trees in our neighbourhood and local parks are teeming with different birds including woodpeckers, blackbirds, starlings, sparrows and a variety of Tits!
Although if you think that’s exotic (probably not) – my partner saw gorillas in the wild yesterday! I think that is the poker equivalent of a royal flush beating a pair… insert your own jokes.
No turkey trauma on our walk today, thankfully, and no sign of bad dog no. 2 and his fucktard owner whom we saw in the distance yesterday evening. And that’s exactly what we did do; keep our distance. (Incidentally I’m loving the word fucktard so expect it to make several more special guest appearances.)
Anyway, I’ve found out a little more about dangerous dog no. 2. It is a cross pit bull. Purebred pit bulls are illegal in this country, and in the US I think. Dogs that are x PB however, are not illegal, but must be muzzled and kept on a lead. Guess what, his owner doesn’t bother. His owner (who also owns a Rottweiler) also doesn’t think it’s a problem that the PB attacks the Rottweiler (I’ve seen him have to physically pull the PB off the Rottie. He then screams and shouts at the PB – because that will work.) Even THIS is not enough for him to keep the dog on a lead. He must really have a very small penis…
So we have two potential dangerous dogs that use the park; a Staffie cross (mentioned before) and the PB cross. And they are only that way because of what human beings have done to them. Well done us.
I often wonder if I’d not be happier living in a cabin in the woods only ever seeing my friends occasionally who are all very wonderful. Frankly the rest of society is far too unpredictable and hostile.
I’m going to see the boarding kennels tomorrow, where my beloved Pluto might be having a farm holiday whilst we are having a city holiday in New York at the end of May. The good thing about this place is that you don’t make appointments, when I asked whether I could look around and did I need tell them when I would be turning up, the man said, come along whenever you like. That suggests to me they are a well- run establishment that has nothing to hide. They are also registered, another important point. I’m going to find it terribly hard to say goodbye to him even though it’s only for a week. He’s my precious little boy and the thought of him unhappy or pining away for us is too awful to contemplate. (And no I don’t feel embarrassed at having written that sentence! If you don’t love ‘em, don’t have ‘em I always say. Actually I’ve only said that once… about a sentence ago…)
If I get a good feeling about the farm and it’s well-run and clean, and the dogs look happy then I’ll make the reservation and I’m sure it will be fine. It will be like when he had the snip – I was a wreck but he sailed through the whole thing without a care in the world.
Kids eh…
(PS. The photo is by David Bailey and other than being of a donkey which is an animal which fits in loosely with the subject title, I'm including it because it's a fantastic photograph!)

Turkey trauma

I'm currently taking donations to pay my next phone bill if you're interested. I called Rwanda for over half and hour yesterday and methinks there will be a few more calls like that one! My parter is happy and having a great time and pleased that I'm keeping busy. Are the three weeks over yet?!
This morning I was hopping mad with the dog; somewhat irrationally it has to be confessed. I hate litter bugs. I particularly hate it when people drop those fast food chicken boxes everywhere. For one thing, who the fuck are you to think I want to step in your discarded crap and for another, chicken bones are dangerous to dogs you fucktards. (This is proving very cathartic, bear with me...) Anyway, the problem wasn't a chicken box this morning (after all that ranting). The dustbin men had decided to do their own littering in the process of removing the neighbourhood rubbish, and there was an empty packet of turkey breasts with some meat juice in the bottom, that had obviously fallen out of someone's rubbish. Well, Pluto was on it like lightening as you can imagine and proceeded to carry this empty - but still tasty, apparently - meat pack all the way to the park and then half way round the park. He would not put it down for love nor money and I was so pissed off at him because he wasn't paying any attention to me and was ignoring me when I called him. He did eventually discard it, and immediately I realised that my annoyance was a bit misplaced. After all, he hadn't actually done anything wrong, just something natural to him as a dog. But the reason I get wound up is that one day he could pick up something that could make him really sick. That meat packet could have been a week old. I once had to sit up with him all night when he had an upset stomach and some kind of sickness bug, as well. It was horrible, he was in a desperate state and just kept looking at me and nudging my arm as if to say, make it stop mum, I feel terrible.
He guessed I was pissed off though and sidled round my legs, looking up at me with his tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth, which gives the impression that he's grinning at me. Anyway, apart from that the walk was good!
Back at work today - shedloads to do. There was an Easter Egg on my desk this morning, from my boss, which was a very nice surprise. Once again, buying my lunch on the way to work proved a very bad thing as I had eaten the lot by 10:30... I need to eat a bigger breakfast!
Well, back to the grind. Until the next exciting episode :0)
(Incidentally there are two other blogs you have to check out, but I haven't worked out how to link them, thenetdog.blogspot.com and philboze.blogspot.com - enjoy!)

Blank holiday Monday

And if I don't shift this hangover, that's what the day will be, a blank! The dinner was a success! And fairly well timed (I'm pretty lousy at getting everything ready at around the same time). Unfortunately we had wine, champagne and a large vodka as well so my head is thumping. We watched a gay film last night; can't remember much about it. Something about surviving the American drugs scene I think. Anyway, lots of buff men with their tops off - and sometimes their bottoms, lots of drug taking, lots of dancing, some soul searching, a smattering of internalised homophobia and a death. No movie is complete without a death.
All I'm doing today is repotting my new plant and clearing up the kitchen, which if you saw the kitchen, is a task and a half. I'm unnecessarily excited about my organic, peat free compost. My partner will be delighted as she told me not to get compost because we have a wormery and they make the best compost in the world - so knowing that I was going to ignore that advice (have money, must spend!), the second instruction was if you do buy compost make it peat free! To be fair I don't go near the wormery, and would no more know how to get compost out, than I would know how to turn water into wine. Wine, yuch, be still my queasy stomach. I'm actually giving up drinking in the near future. Wish I'd started last night to be honest with you...
The bathroom cabinet is up by the way, and it looks fab! The boys did it last night in return for a fine chicken dinner.
The dog is in playful mood. He is, one by one, getting every single toy out of his toy basket and strategically placing them all over the house, the little tinker.
Right well it's ludicrously early so I'm going back to bed with a book. I really do plan to do very little today!

Cherry blossom

Walking the dog yesterday was unexpectedly beautiful - there was a strong breeze and all the cherry blossom trees in the park were dropping thousands of tiny white petals, which swirled around Pluto and I. It was like walking through a Japanese snow storm at one point.
I've finally figured out my MP3 (with lots of help from my neighbour!). (One thing off the to-do list!) I can now listen to a random shuffle of Dolly Parton, Linkin Park, Madonna, Foo Fighters, Josh Groban and Nelly Furtardo on my daily commute.
Today the boys are coming for a Sunday dinner so I have to do a lot of tidying up first... the place is a shambles. Having a big breakfast of pancakes, bananas and maple syrup should have given me an energy boost but to be honest, I could go back to bed! Anyway, I'll keep this deliberately short because I do have a lot to do.
Don't eat too much chocolate...
Easter Sunday part two: We haven't even got to the roast dinner yet but we have had a good, if slightly unusual, day. The boys asked if I fancied going for a spin in their new car after I walked the dog. Which I did. We drived around aimlessly - but everywhere was closed. Apart from that is, the Chinese centre in Croydon so we all went in for a very rough, but surprisingly effective, Chinese massage! My left shoulder keeps freezing because I seem to store tension there. (You would have thought Ikea would have come up with an innovative storage solution for stress, wouldn't you?!) Ironically, when I woke up this morning, my left shoulder really hurt and wondered then whether things would just gradually work themselves loose during the day. Well they did with the help of a small but very strong Chinese lady who threw me about a bit and then charged me! So that was a little surreal. Afterwards we found a garden centre in the middle of NOWHERE and I bought a plant, four pots and some organic peat free compost! I love garden centres. Even before I was all that interested in gardening, to be honest. Anyway, this place had a big camping / tent area, which got the boys (well, one of the boys!) excited about a camping trip we've been talking about for a while now. The idea is, now they have the car, is to bugger off to Cornwall or somewhere equally as beautiful for a long weekend.
And still the day isn't over... what could possibly happen now? Oh, that's right I have to Hoover before dinner.

DIY SOS

I've decided that the only way to get through the next three weeks is to do stuff. Last night I felt miserable knowing my partner was thousands of miles away - and thousands of miles up. (Incidentally they landed safely this morning.)
The boys upstairs were lovely; we shared a Chinese, had several large vodka's and watched the Will and Grace episode they did live - hysterically funny. In fact at one point I was a little hysterical but I am experiencing a lot of heightened emotion right now!
So I have set myself some achievable tasks (let's just hope I achieve them!): put up our gorgeous new bathroom cabinet, finish painting the hall way, dig over the garden again, sort out my MP3 player (OK, that's really a me thing rather than an us thing), get our drain sorted, get all the stuff out of the hallway and... somewhere else. And then I'm sure there will be several other bits and pieces. But basically I want her to come back to the same lovely house, just a little bit more organised. Out letting agents - who are utterly, utterly useless - are finally going to sort out the drain outside the kitchen after lots of emails and phone calls. It needs rodding basically. And although I won't be physically doing the work, to have that sorted by the time she gets back will be a HUGE achievement. Our neighbours will be delighted as well. The dirty water runs off into their garden. Dirty water can smell, but worse they have a little boy who probably steps in it! But they are lovely people and will be invited to our summer jamboree (more of that later). In the meantime though I'll take round a bottle of wine for their patience...
Pluto slept OK but was a little anxious in the evening when he went to bed. Partly because my partner had gone away, partly because there are foxes in the garden and partly because he's a young dog that still needs to settle down and find his place in the world after a really lousy start to life. Sorry to be a little philosophical (on a blog, is that appropriate?!) but while dogs are dogs and humans are humans, we still share emotion and we go through remarkably similar processes. Although to be fair I've never stolen socks...
We'll go for a long walk today and I'll take some sausage which is one of his favourite treats.
So summer jamboree! Well, more accurately, a bit of a summer party with a bar-b-q and live music. Although our plan for this wee hootenanny, depends on good weather and a decent garden. And vanity dictates that I finish all the decorating and we get all the boxes sorted before throwing open the house like a royal garden party (let's face it they only have the one queen, there will be quite a few at our bash!)
Well, it's still early for a Saturday morning and I have to draw up a to-do list. By the way, I live in London, but they publish the US time on this blog, so it looks like I write at really odd hours. But I don't, I keep fairly regular hours, with the occasional exception. I don't want all my invisible fans to worry that I'm not getting enough sleep :0)

Passport and toothbrush

My partner is off on holiday for almost three weeks today and the house is even more chaotic than it normally is! I made her a lovely breakfast, did the washing up and am encouraging her to stay on schedule (she has left everything to the last minute!). But I am also trying to keep out of the way. (Although I did get lots of hugs for doing her laundry!) Neither of us are looking forward to saying goodbye. We're not one of those soppy couples that can't bear to spend the day apart; we're romantic, loving and very tactile but also, bless us, quite practical! We've spent time apart more times than we care to remember, but to be fair, we weren't living together then. Now it feels... different. Anyway, she will have a fantastic time and will be back before I know it. But if my blogs have a melancholy feel about them for the next couple of weeks, you know why.
Pluto knows something's happening (again!) but apart from nicking some of my underwear and dragging it round the garden, he's been fairly well behaved. Sitting with him when I first put him to bed and the herbal anxiety drops seem to be working. He's so much calmer now and the barking has all but stopped. We sit in the dark for a little while until he settles right down; stretched out and with a long sigh that signals he's ready to let go of all that energy and fall gently to sleep. Long may it continue!
We found a great little Italian restaurant a ten minute walk away, last night. Lovely service and lovely food, I can see it becoming a regular eating place - especially as it's really reasonably priced as well. Maybe next time we have people over, we'll take them there instead!
Talking of having people over, the boys from upstairs are coming down on Easter Sunday. I'm doing a roast chicken, Yorkshire pudding, carrots, cauli and mash potatoes! I'm hoping they can work out my new MP3 player as well. Why does everything have to be SO complicated. Or is it because I'm a luddite?! Answers on a gramophone...
I like gadgets and new technology, I just don't always understand gadgets and new technology. Anyway, lugging my CD player around and having only a few CD's to choose from when I'm on the train is becoming tiresome. And is it just me (again) but when you have to choose some CD's in the morning, it's harder than choosing what to wear?? Do I feel in a classical, country, pop, rock, alternative mood today...
Anyway, have a happy Easter. I'm off to make sure she really has packed her passport and toothbrush...

Twickers knickers

In the land of the small dog, the medium sized dog is king. Today at the park, it semed only small dogs were taking their constitutionals. Pluto played with a gorgeous little Westie until he got overexcited and stood on her (he's used to playing with much bigger dogs and didn't quite grasp the size differential). I enjoyed chatting with her owner as well - a gayer and a seemingly very nice chap.
Yesterday I had a spiritual experience. Not that whole Jesus thing, but rather that whole England rugby thing. I had organised a photo shoot at Twickenham with the Met Police who sponsor the Kings Cross Steelers and it was a fantastic day. We were treated like VIP's and I must admit when a tour party saw us being ushered into a changing room, I felt a little smug and proud to be in my club colours!
The RFU have been fantastically supportive of the club. Governing bodies can be stuffy and far removed from the lower divisions but we haven't found that to be the case with them. And when we launch the posters, the president himself has asked to be there. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Why were we doing a photo shoot at Twickers? Well, the police have the problem of wanting people to report hate crime but realising that some communities, the black community and the gay community for example, are not comfortable dealing with the Fuzz. So they champion third party reporting and what are called True Vision packs. It means you can report crime but anonymously, if you so wish. That does have value, because it means if they get lots of reports about homophobic abuse on a particular street, they can use that intelligence to step up patrols, talk to local businesses etc., etc. But it also reinforces the message whether you choose to go to a police station, call 999 or fill out a form (with or without including your name) the police will take you seriously and treat you with respect - well, in theory. You get arseholes in every organisation. So anyway, we are doing a national poster campaign "The Kings Cross Steelers and the Met Police Tackle Hate Crime" and I organised for us to do the photos - which will be used on the posters and leaflets - at Twickenham. We looked great all stood under the goal at the north end and our feet touching that hallowed turf. Did anyone walk out of the players tunnel and not hear 72,000 people silently roar their approval? I certainly did. Ah, if only...
We went on the tour (second time for me, but still interesting) and the shopped in the store. Managed to get a couple of presents; for our American friend's little boy, and my partner's two and a half year old goddaughter, who if I have anything to do with it will grow up loving the greatest sport on earth. My indoctrination is subtle, every other present has a rugby theme! My partner is off to Rwanda and Uganda at the end of the week and her goddaughter is half Ugandan so I have asked her to pick me up a Ugandan rugby t-shirt in the smallest size possible! She can play any sport as long as it's rugby, for any country, as long as it's England!!!
Some of the boys tried to persuade me to buy some ladies Twickers knickers, but I managed to resist! It really was a great day and a proud moment in our club's history. (Incidentally, we were in the shop when a rather attractive woman asked my Chairman, are you the Kings Cross Steelers? He replied in the affirmative and asked her how she knew. She replied she recognised our club logo and then gave me a big smile!)
I have to go and eat some of my partner's home made parsnip soup now as I'm a little under the weather and I'm convinced that will cure me!

Iqueer

Well I haven’t blogged all weekend, but I haven’t forgotten you! It’s been a busy one as usual, but I did get my lay-in on Saturday morning. But the benefits were soon lost as I got to work on the laundry and my carpet. Although neither of us ever have anything to wear we have so many clothes, it took me the thick end of an hour to put a wash on and sort out the accumulated (clean) laundry that had hung from various airers, doors, backs of chairs and other less than suitable perches for the last week and a half. And then, the hall carpet – my nemesis. Light brown carpet, black dog hair… need I go on?! We only have the one bit of carpet the rest is hard wood floors, but it takes me over 40 minutes to clean and Hoover it each time. I have, however, found a miracle invention for tackling dog hair. It is a small plastic handled brush called ‘Amaze’ and it has “taken Australia and New Zealand by storm”. I bought it at the Ideal Home exhibition*. It looks a little like a sandpaper block with a handle and it works to lift the dog hair out which makes it easier to vacuum up. Is this interesting?! Probably not. Anyway after all that exertion I was buggered but the carpet looks fabulous. Until the next time the monster tramps mud everywhere and starts shedding…
We went to Ikea late on Saturday which was mostly fun although I became stressed at the end with all the queues and having to run back and pick up things we had forgotten. The boys upstairs had the van so we went a little wild, spending £70 on a bathroom cabinet, for example. Lot’s of gay men were in evidence, hence the nickname Iqueer.
Sunday I had a committee meeting. What is it about committee’s that bring out the worst in people? Bitching and sniping at one another like kids. The majority of us do such a good job; we should stop and remember that once in a while. Anyway, we did end up achieving quite a lot but it was two and a half hours of my life that I’ll never get back.
My partner and I walked Pluto when I got back and he was a little angel on the walk. And apparently whilst I was away he was a good boy, not getting in the way (much) when she was putting up shelves and sorting out the kitchen, although he did try to eat some screws. We bought him a soft toy at Ikea and despite his usually eating and / or destroying all of his toys, he’s been very gentle with Kangy Woo (ridiculous isn’t it, I never thought I would become a pet owner that names the dog’s toys, let alone call them things like ‘kangy woo’ But then I never thought I would call myself mummy when talking to the him either. Anyway I am one of those owners I admit it and it does embarrass me slightly.)
It was a cold evening so I lit the faux-fire (it’s actually a very large gel burner that sits in the fireplace but it works just as well, looks great and is cleaner!), we opened a bottle of wine and everything was very cosy in our little part of the world.
Tomorrow I have a photo shoot at the home of rugby; Twickenham. Normally I just organise these things but tomorrow I’m in it as well!
* I would never pay to go to the Ideal Home exhibition because it’s sponsored by the Daily Mail which is a hateful newspaper full of bigotry and unsavoury rhetoric, but I got two free tickets so I took my mum and it felt like sticking two fingers up at them and their politics.

Bird poo not bird flu

I try not to be one of those people that live for the weekend, it seems like such a waste of five other days. Don't get me wrong, despite an annoyingly cheerful and positive disposition, there are plenty of occasions when I want to shove a Monday morning or a Wednesday afternoon up the arse of someone who happens to be standing on my one remaining nerve, but I try and value time and see even small things as achievements. We all have days which are frankly, less productive than they ought to be but then there are days when we work too hard and too long, so it all balances out in the end. All that said, I'm so glad it's Friday and I get to sleep in tomorrow morning! :0)
Pluto and I had a great walk this morning. It was a bit overcast but dry and not too cold. We saw the speed walking grannies, one of whom called out, "he's doing so well isn't he. He's such a good boy!" I swear Pluto looked at me and grinned. I smiled as well: until I taught him not to (because it's a bad thing to do and also because we could potentially get sued), he would always run up behind them and attempt to trip them up...
I saw a robin have a crap. The robin is one of my favourite birds but seeing one of them poo was a moment neither of us needed to share. I really want to try and attract more birds into our garden but so far they have ignored my attempts at friendship and the fat balls and peanuts remained untouched and unloved although Pluto did try and nick the nuts until I put them out of his reach.
The herbal drops are making him very mellow and it's nice that he has all the energy still but without perhaps a little bit of the anxiety that he was exhibiting at night.
Tonight me and the missus are off to see Tsotsi, the film set in the South African townships. I used to live in South Africa, it will be interesting to see what memories are stirred...
Incidentally I don't know if ignorance is bliss, but is anyone really frightened of bird flu? I know it's reached the UK but it seems so unreal and I have blind faith that someone will sort it all out before it reaches SE26... although who that someone is, is anyone's guess. Maybe I shouldn't be trying to attract more birds into the garden?!
TOP TIP: If your dog has a really strong jaw and laughs in the face of so called indestructible dog toys, don't waste your money on them. If you don't drink soft drinks yourself, get friends and neighbours to donate their empty 0.5 litre bottles of coke, lucozade, water, whatever, wash them out and remove any labels. Put a few bits of food or treat in the bottle - preferably something hard that will make a rattling sound - and do the top up, but not too tightly. Pluto will spend HOURS chewing on the bottle, sometimes managing to get to the treats, other times chewing the top into an impenetrable mass of slobbery plastic but the point is, he loves it and it doesn't cost me a penny! And on the subject of dog stuff, if it's for pets it's always for some reason more expensive. Dog poo bags are a quid for twenty, nappysacks however are 50p for 100. Personally I swear by Ocado bags - nice and thick!

What's that Skippy, Pluto's trapped?!

I came home yesterday to find that Pluto had got himself trapped in the spare room. Not one to panic, he had created a den amongst a pile of cushions, pillows and a freshly washed duvet. When he didn't greet me at the door, I guessed immediately where he was. Letting myself into the bedroom a furry face appeared over a pile of bed linen and yawned. Then he realised I was home and leapt off the bed sending everything everywhere. He's done this so often that you would think he would learn a lesson, but apparently not. Other than being a bit thirsty he was fine.
Working from home today, just as well - I have so much to do at the moment, I need the peace and quiet of my home office... except when Pluto dumps a slobbery toy in my lap and demands I play with him. My office colleagues have never done that!
At the moment Pluto is quite fractious when he first goes to bed; foxes in the garden, our neighbour going out for a smoke, a dog barking a street away and off he goes with that deep, sonorous bark of his. He seems to settle down after an hour or so, but it's making us all a bit stressed. I'm on the lookout for a herbal relaxant for him and will be paying a visit to my local pet shop on my lunch break. Incidentally; pet shops may be a little more expensive than say, a supermarket. But they have a lot of experience and more time to chat to you, which is invaluable. Also, this pet shop is owned and run by women (gay women I think) and I'm a great believer in supporting your own community, and local commerce.
I had some rubbish daytime TV on in the backround and I was just about to snap it off, when I realised it was City Hospital, featuring Guy's Hospital the same hospital that is treating my mum for breast cancer at the moment. She is now on Herceptin and through everything she has been through; chemo, radiotherapy, mastectomy, they have treated her with kindness and respect. So bad TV, but a GREAT hospital.
Anyway, enough of this nonsense, if I don't get some work done, I'm for the high jump...

Dog good, owner bad

It turns out there may be another aggressive Staffie (Staffordshire Bull Terrier) using the park that Pluto and I and all our doggie and doggie owner friends are using so I’ve made the decision to call the dog warden and warn them of what’s happening. Apparently this dog was egged on by its owner to go for another dog. An older lady also told me there was dog fighting in the area. Pluto has a bit of Staffie in him we think. The belief is that these dogs are aggressive by nature. They are not, they are protective, but if you have an aggressive dog (any breed) you have a dog in a permanent state of anxiety and fear and uncertainty. In other words, you have a very stressed animal. Aggression is not a natural state. Staffies were popular at the turn of the century when they were kept by working class people for their protective, stoic and loyal qualities. During this time England had its fair share of slums and there was massive overcrowding in the inner-cities; the dogs themselves also lived in these overcrowded and chaotic conditions – any signs of aggression towards a human or another pet and the dog would as often as not, been taken outside and killed. Consequently, aggressive traits were likely to have been bred out of the dogs. They are generally fun and loving dogs that mix well with kids and other pets. Once again it is the owners that are the problem. Inhumane bastards that see living creatures as disposable status symbols.
Anyway I prefer to do something rather than just sit here worrying, and you know when people start to talk about not using the park anymore and of being “frightened”, that something very definitely needs to be done…
Pluto was a bit of a slow coach on his walk today but generally in very high spirits. Our dear friends and neighbours bought him a new toy on Monday and it’s his new best thing ever. (He is, I’m afraid, a fairly fickle creature with a basket full of toys that have all at one stage been his new best thing ever!)
Personally I’m feeling much better as well - much more energy anyway. Now I need to focus on my ever increasing work load and get organised!
TOP TIP: If you walk your dog at night, buy a large Maglite torch. Expensive I know, but not only is it practical to have a torch for evening / night walks, but they are very heavy and if you are attacked (and I hope that never happens) they are good defensive weapons. I'm not advocating violence and you should only ever do what feels right for you, but safety is an issue nowadays and it doesn't hurt to be prepared.

Bad knees and tired feet

Not so exhausted today, although I wouldn't turn my nose up at a day in bed! My company doesn't do duvet days but if they did...
Pluto enjoyed both his walks today and was incredibly responsive, especially this afternoon. He ran up to a child - I don't like him running up to anyone, let alone children who have a tendancy to squeal and throw their arms around. I whistled and he came straight back and sat at my feet, I was so proud! We were walking around with a lady and an Alsation called Bella. Even she said how impressive his response had been; that's my boy! He's a little excitable though this evening. My partner just got home and he did all but climb on her head - not what you need after a long day. So on that note, this blog will be short because I have housewifey duties!

Sponsored walk

Well I did it. I walked ten miles yesterday to raise funds for my rugby club and my knees felt every inch (I have degenerative knee damage, in case you were wondering). If people ever doubted that walking a dog twice a day improves your fitness, I can assure you that it does. When I did this walk last year, I was so much more exhausted toward the end and my feet seemed to hurt more (I was even sweatier as well!). This year, it really wasn't so much of a struggle for me which I was obviously very pleased about. Incidentally, people think walking poles are for serious trekkers or the infirm; I am neither but how's this for a statistic: over the course of a day's walk, walking poles remove 200 tonnes of pressure from your knees!
Back at my desk today and feel pretty burnt out - need another couple of hours sleep at least, and am thinking that I should have taken today off. Although obviously I have the energy to blog - this is becoming seriously addictive!
Next weekend, the most energetic thing I will be doing is going to Ikea and the garden centre. Incidentally, my partner and I did our seperate designs for the garden only to discover we had exactly the same ideas. We are going to build our own brick bar-b-q so if anyone has any tips or suggestions, please email. I'm never too proud for good advice!
Until next time, yours with her feet in the air...
(Photos courtesy of Phil, 'Life of Phil')

Climbing up sunshine mountain

The sun is shining, the dog (much better now) is snoozing at my feet and my partner is doing the washing up. All should be well, and I suppose it is, but I'm struck by how quickly life can turn. I was on the tube yesterday when a woman, Russian or Polish I think, took a call on her mobile. She started crying hysterically, it transpired that her grandmother had just died. She didn't care who could see or hear her as she sobbed almost uncontrollably. At first everyone pretended she wasn't there, but I became more and more concerned and also, suddenly very claustrophobic as a result of her grief so I leaned over and asked, are you alright? Knowing full well that she wasn't. She told me her beloved grandmother had just died. My asking her, prompted others to spring into action, well, in that muted English way we have of responding to a crisis; a woman offered her a tissue and a man patted her arm. So she went in a brief moment of time to being an outwardly care-free young woman, to a vulnerable and helpless soul, miles away from home, her face as she left the train a rictus of grief and sorrow. I hope there was someone to be with her when she finally got home.
When I got to London Bridge there was a man being escorted from the station. He had been running up to people and shouting hallelujah in a really aggressive way. You don't really expect that at London Bridge station; at a revivalist meeting or a church, perhaps. Or maybe my ancestor Dr. David Livingstone said it after convincing himself that he had transformed the lives of native peoples in Africa and embraced them in the sweaty arms of Christianity, when in actual act they were saying, 'love what he's trying to do by ending slavery, but this religious nonsense has got to stop'. There - although terribly misguided - a hallelujah has a place. But you don't expect aggressive hallelujahs at London Bridge where frankly it's just a little unsettling.
I personally had some bad news myself yesterday, but in some ways it has helped to clarify things for me and made me realise that sometimes, you really do only have yourself to fall back on... Luckily I have sturdy thighs and a low centre of gravity otherwise I might have fallen flat on my arse.
We plan to buy things for the garden today, which I'm looking forward to. The dog wants his walk in the meantime and I need to put on something a little more substantial than bed shorts and a t-shirt. Have a nice Saturday!